I like this very much... ~_~
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LESSONS IN LIFE
By Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do .
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read some good books. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
He's not that interested
Read this today from an email article, just extracting a portion of it that acts as a good reminder :
BY MIRABLE SUMMERS
(excerpt)
The only thing that determines how you react to
a situation where a guy SEEMS interested, and then
backs off slightly (a classic test) is whether or
not you feel like being with a guy who's intent on
making YOU 'chase' HIM.
Or with a guy who's been reading up on the
seduction/pickup arts and is determined to stop
asking women out because 'that's what men do now.'
Basically, the way that you react to this sort
of stuff is likely to set the tone for the rest of
the relationship (no matter how brief it may turn
out to be.)
He is testing your levels of interest. He wants
to know if YOU'RE keen enough to ask HIM out.
And whether you are or not isn't really the
point ... because what it REALLY boils down to is
that, FOR WHATEVER REASON, he is not interested
enough in you to do you the basic courtesy of
asking you out.
Look: I'm all for the 'male sexual revolution'
that seems to be happening these days, and I think
it's interesting that the dating scene is getting
shaken up so much with all these new ideas and
'techniques' and 'strategies' and things like that
...
... but at the same time, I am a firm proponent
of NOT helping a guy to ask you out.
I think this is very important. And despite the
fact that dating gurus are teaching their acolytes
to 'get HER to chase YOU', I still don't believe
that to do so would set a sound precedent for
respectful and decent treatment for you - not to
mention flaming-hot attraction - throughout the
relationship.
I've simply read too many studies where a
STAGGERING majority of the men polled said that
they have NEVER had a serious relationship with a
girl who asked them out ... or that if she asked
them out, 'it would ruin all the fun' ... or that
they'd be FLATTERED if a woman asked them out, but
they wouldn't necessarily be ATTRACTED to her.
Bottom line: he may be interested enough in you
to flirt with you. But if he's not interested
enough to actually take the plunge and ask you to
meet him for a coffee (come on, I mean, ONE
PIDDLING COFFEE - it's hardly levitating over
Niagara Falls), then he's just NOT THAT
INTERESTED. Period.
And yes, you could argue, 'what if I'm an
intimidating woman? What if he's a little bit
scared of me?'
Well, that's true. Guys can be intimidated by
beautiful or outgoing women. But usually, unless
you're Angelina Jolie, this isn't REALLY a
problem. And to bite the bullet, even if it
WAS a problem, do you actually want to be with a guy
who's so gutless that he can't even get himself
together enough to invite you out somewhere? A guy
who doesn't even like you enough to get over his
nervousness and ask you out??
Because I know I wouldn't.
As an interesting aside, I've actually been in
this exact position myself a couple of times. Guy
is being very flirty and funny ... we're both
enjoying ourselves ... then all of a sudden one of
us has to go, and he tries to put it on ME to do
the legwork and arrange another meeting.
Every time this happens - whether it's a guy
offering me his card, offering me his email
address, or telling me to 'call him' - I take it
as the message that it is: essentially, that he's
trying to get ME to do his 'dirty-work' for him
and organize a date. He wants an ego-boost, or
he's been conditioned to 'get her to do the
chasing', or he's just plain LAZY.
Personally, I prefer men who actually like me
enough to quit with the power struggle and ask to
see me again. No matter what kind of Sexual
Revolution men happen to be going through, I have
ALWAYS refused to help guys ask me out, and were I
single, I would continue to do so.
If they don't ask, then quite simply, they just
AREN'T THAT INTERESTED.
And hey - I know this can be confusing,
especially if they were particularly flirty and
charming during the previous conversations(s),
whether that was online, on the phone, or in
person. But let's face it, there are any NUMBER of
reasons that all that flirty charm could be an
absolute CROCK when it comes to actually MEANING
SOMETHING:
He could have just been in a good mood.
He could have been on an ego trip and wanting
to see if he can get you interested.
He could have been cheering himself up after a
difficult day, and wanting to soothe himself with
some feminine attention.
He could be one of those guys who's Just A
Flirt.
... and so on.
I urge you to start paying attention to the way
men ACT rather than the way they TALK. The
conversation can be great, he can be telling you
how cute you are and how he'd love to take you out
sometime, etc etc ... but if he's not actually
ASKING YOU OUT, then he's not that interested.
Period.
And smart women don't waste their time dating
men who aren't sure about their interest levels.
BY MIRABLE SUMMERS
(excerpt)
The only thing that determines how you react to
a situation where a guy SEEMS interested, and then
backs off slightly (a classic test) is whether or
not you feel like being with a guy who's intent on
making YOU 'chase' HIM.
Or with a guy who's been reading up on the
seduction/pickup arts and is determined to stop
asking women out because 'that's what men do now.'
Basically, the way that you react to this sort
of stuff is likely to set the tone for the rest of
the relationship (no matter how brief it may turn
out to be.)
He is testing your levels of interest. He wants
to know if YOU'RE keen enough to ask HIM out.
And whether you are or not isn't really the
point ... because what it REALLY boils down to is
that, FOR WHATEVER REASON, he is not interested
enough in you to do you the basic courtesy of
asking you out.
Look: I'm all for the 'male sexual revolution'
that seems to be happening these days, and I think
it's interesting that the dating scene is getting
shaken up so much with all these new ideas and
'techniques' and 'strategies' and things like that
...
... but at the same time, I am a firm proponent
of NOT helping a guy to ask you out.
I think this is very important. And despite the
fact that dating gurus are teaching their acolytes
to 'get HER to chase YOU', I still don't believe
that to do so would set a sound precedent for
respectful and decent treatment for you - not to
mention flaming-hot attraction - throughout the
relationship.
I've simply read too many studies where a
STAGGERING majority of the men polled said that
they have NEVER had a serious relationship with a
girl who asked them out ... or that if she asked
them out, 'it would ruin all the fun' ... or that
they'd be FLATTERED if a woman asked them out, but
they wouldn't necessarily be ATTRACTED to her.
Bottom line: he may be interested enough in you
to flirt with you. But if he's not interested
enough to actually take the plunge and ask you to
meet him for a coffee (come on, I mean, ONE
PIDDLING COFFEE - it's hardly levitating over
Niagara Falls), then he's just NOT THAT
INTERESTED. Period.
And yes, you could argue, 'what if I'm an
intimidating woman? What if he's a little bit
scared of me?'
Well, that's true. Guys can be intimidated by
beautiful or outgoing women. But usually, unless
you're Angelina Jolie, this isn't REALLY a
problem. And to bite the bullet, even if it
WAS a problem, do you actually want to be with a guy
who's so gutless that he can't even get himself
together enough to invite you out somewhere? A guy
who doesn't even like you enough to get over his
nervousness and ask you out??
Because I know I wouldn't.
As an interesting aside, I've actually been in
this exact position myself a couple of times. Guy
is being very flirty and funny ... we're both
enjoying ourselves ... then all of a sudden one of
us has to go, and he tries to put it on ME to do
the legwork and arrange another meeting.
Every time this happens - whether it's a guy
offering me his card, offering me his email
address, or telling me to 'call him' - I take it
as the message that it is: essentially, that he's
trying to get ME to do his 'dirty-work' for him
and organize a date. He wants an ego-boost, or
he's been conditioned to 'get her to do the
chasing', or he's just plain LAZY.
Personally, I prefer men who actually like me
enough to quit with the power struggle and ask to
see me again. No matter what kind of Sexual
Revolution men happen to be going through, I have
ALWAYS refused to help guys ask me out, and were I
single, I would continue to do so.
If they don't ask, then quite simply, they just
AREN'T THAT INTERESTED.
And hey - I know this can be confusing,
especially if they were particularly flirty and
charming during the previous conversations(s),
whether that was online, on the phone, or in
person. But let's face it, there are any NUMBER of
reasons that all that flirty charm could be an
absolute CROCK when it comes to actually MEANING
SOMETHING:
He could have just been in a good mood.
He could have been on an ego trip and wanting
to see if he can get you interested.
He could have been cheering himself up after a
difficult day, and wanting to soothe himself with
some feminine attention.
He could be one of those guys who's Just A
Flirt.
... and so on.
I urge you to start paying attention to the way
men ACT rather than the way they TALK. The
conversation can be great, he can be telling you
how cute you are and how he'd love to take you out
sometime, etc etc ... but if he's not actually
ASKING YOU OUT, then he's not that interested.
Period.
And smart women don't waste their time dating
men who aren't sure about their interest levels.
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